Yes, you read that right, the “super mum” does not exist. Sure, she exists in social media, but not in real life. Why am I writing about this? Because one of my besties (who has three young kids), who is a great Mum, messaged me that I was a super mum. She said this because I’m making succulent pots and candles at the moment.

My immediate response to her message read something like this; “there is no such thing as a super mum. If I’m not being creative I don’t feel like myself. Then when I am making things I’m feeling guilty for not interacting with the girls enough. Even though I know how important independent play is”.

I also know that it’s important for my children to see me doing things that make me happy. They are allowed to help with the non dangerous parts of the processes as much as possible. Still mummy guilt is a very real, and very nasty thing. Without the added pressure of trying to do everything perfectly, as seen on Instagram. I’m embarrassed to say I’m now aware that my feed doesn’t help challenge that stigma. I might just have to see what I can do about that.

A few friends of mine who are mums and doing amazing things. Whether it be starting their own businesses or focusing purely on mothering and doing great activities with their children. I see them as amazing, yet, I don’t see myself as amazing. It takes them to point out that it doesn’t matter that my house isn’t as tidy as theirs. We have a vegetable garden that they wouldn’t even dream of looking after.

Focus on Mum Strengths

My point is, we need to learn how to focus on our strengths, instead of comparing ourselves to others and telling ourselves we need to do more. This is something I have to keep reminding myself of in this fast paced world. Social media encourages comparison and it isn’t healthy.

So the “super mum” that you see making candles and succulent pots at the moment, currently has a kitchen bench with enough room for food prep only. That’s because we have a gorgeous, big kitchen. I wouldn’t even attempt making candles whilst being a mum of two toddlers if we hadn’t renovated our kitchen last year. The backyard table where I’m making concrete pots, planting up and propagating succulents isn’t functioning. There is no order whatsoever, it is totally doing my head in.

This is real life. These things have been sitting on my bench for three days,
as I’ve been making candles in stages, and I’m still not finished.

I’m a real mum, who has to move a whole heap of crap out of a background before I even consider taking a photo. If you look hard enough you will still see stuff in reflections. Doing things I enjoy, and having fun with my kids is more important to me than a super tidy house and garden. That doesn’t mean I won’t try and fake being a domestic goddess.

The real super mum is the one that is happy and has fun with her family. We are all doing the best job we can. We all need to support one another on the good days when we get heaps done and feel like superwomen, and on the bad days when bedtime can’t come soon enough.

Key Message

My last thought for the day, is to remind myself to think of all the things that I have achieved during the day, rather than focusing on what still needs to be done. The power of positive thinking should not be underestimated.

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